Family the family that is not but still

Family is one of the most valued thing here in the world.

It is the foundation of many individuals in creating their own life. Here is where every people got their strength, courage, inspirations, and love. In everything that people do, family is one of the most aspects that really affect a person. This is where a person is being molded. In the family, everyone will be affected in every decision that the family member did.

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A family should be strong, a home for everyone, an inspiration, a model, and the bank for happiness. Family is the most and greatest influencing aspect in an individual’s life, a complete family will produce another individual that is beneficial to our society. Family is where the child’s future depends on. There are family that is really stick to and very affectionate to each other, and there is the family that is not but still whole, and there is the other family that is really broken. The question is how it will going to affect the children in their family? This chapter is focusing on the unnatural behavior of a child. Of course, a family will highly affect their children positively and negatively. A family that is working together and is complete is said that both mother and father are functioning in union.

So, when parents split up or went into separation, it will cause an overpass to their children which may lead the child to a great devious behavior of the child which obviously because of the ferment of the child especially because of their parents(Blog Spot, 2013). This usually happens when there is no other family member tries to guide the child. The child doesn’t get the right attention for them, so basically the result of the turmoil to the child is the negative side of the separation that happened and is definitely affects the child big time(Blog Spot, 2013). A functioning family is more profitable to a child rather than the functionless one. The neglecting of parents and having lack of supervision may lead the child to some uncertain behaviors. For example, addiction, becoming a bully, not going to school, and others.

In a study, it is said that separation of the parents can directly affect the academic performances and other concerns regarding their children like the behavior in society, and school, emotional and psychological stress, social misbehavior, sexual activities and teenage pregnancy. These children from separated parents are more likely to experience depression, stress, low self- esteem and anxiety. These children had a lot of difficulties in comprehensions and having normal behavior, unlike those children who grew with the same parents. There are many kinds of aspects that can affect the separation of the mother and the father. These may be because of financial problems, a misunderstanding of the parents, or the having of affair of either the mother or the father. In a study, it is said that the awareness of the importance of home environment to a child is important especially when it comes to academics and behaviors.

The family do really is important when it comes to a children’s future. Parents had a big responsibility for their children. Although the school is responsible for children’s learning, the parents should still look after their child so that the child will still encourage in attending their school because the students knew that they have their parent’s support to them(Uwaifo, n.d). Divorce is one of the hardest things that a couple will experience especially when they had a child or children. It is really painful for the both husband and wife, but it would be very painful for their child. The impact of this to the child may cause a long term effect which can affect their future(Chavez, 2017).

Divorce is a very serious matter that a family can experience. There are some people that are somehow concerned about the parent’s situation without even thinking of the possible impact and the effects of it to the child(Tentaoco, 2016). When parents separated, the first person that will be affected is their child. The child would bare a lot of problems in an early age. The effects of divorce to the child may not be visible at first but surely, it will show up later on.

Divorce will definitely bring a lot of negative effects to the child(Tentaoco,2016). “Divorce is not an intended event in a family’s life. It is something that can affect each individual of the family differently and at different times. Today a couple’s chance of getting a divorce is around fifty percent. Since this is an event that is not intended to happen, many factors need to be considered when children are involved”(.

Divorce can cause a short and long term effect to the child. In short term effect, the child may feel guilty and responsible for the divorce thinking that he/ she might be the reason why hi/ her parents divorced. They may become more aggressive and uncooperative to both mother, father, and to their surroundings. They may have emotional trauma, and somehow feeling needy for the attention of their parents. They may also be distracted and may lose their attention and focus which will highly affect their academic performances. They may have the tendency to build grief and loss to their parents which is very alarming. These effects may be hard at first for the child but later on when the child was able to adjust to their life they could cope up with their situation and they can continue their lives. Unfortunately, they are the long term effect of divorce to a child.

The children who suffered from divorce may be less educated than the other children who came from a whole family, may experience poverty, and may also have socio- economic disadvantages. They can also be an anti- social and more likely to have great behavior problems, they may be addicted to drugs and alcohol and other vices, and lastly they may also experience divorce or separation by themselves in the future(Aktar, 2013). A study said that the marital problems that may leave an unending impact to their children and are somehow the reason in having this kind of situation.

Having conflicts of the parents that was being witnessed by the child may lead to some issues that the child will have in their teenage years. It includes anxiety and depression(Aktar, 2013). The child might have the increase in emotional insecurities, came from the negative effect of the conflicts of their parents that they were able to witness(Aktar, 2013). According to David(2015), most of the families are being distorted because of having the lack of family values formation. In her statement, she said that if you are living in a complete family, you will also have a complete family yourself, but if you were raised with a broken family you will also have a broken family yourself too. She also said that, if this concept happens also to you, then your family values are intact to you.

Parents that are in a dysfunctional marriage are more likely to be in stress and distracted by the conflicts between their spouses which causes them to have not enough time for their children, this situation is worsening the relation between parents and children. In the study, the ability of the child to adjust in their new family situation also depends on the remaining parent(Bubelwa, 2014).The focus of this part is to discuss about the effect of divorce to the academic performance of the child. This part will show how does divorce can negatively affect the children’s achievement regarding their academics. It is already common that when there is a broken family, there is failing grade for the child(Bubelwa, 2014).

Based on the research, having a low academic performance is merely connected in having poor self- esteem, low motivational orientation, poor study habits, and poor in social interaction. In a study, it was said that the children who was a product of divorce is more likely not to finish high school and college; obviously will not be able to graduate. It is also said that the children of the divorcees has more tendency to quit their school than those children who has living with both parents(Bubelwa, 2014). There is a study that has able to determine the negative connection of having a divorced family to the academic performance of the child, also to their attendances in school, academic achievements and attitude towards learning and the ability to concentrate to their lessons. According to Bubelwa(2014) children from a divorced family might show decreased functioning in some academic performances, and might possibly show sign of depression and anxiety or other opposite behavior that a normal child should have. Other children can be easily adapt the situation of their parents through the help of their relatives and friends, but there are still other child who may react in the opposite way.

Because of this children might feel the guilt and blame themselves because of the separation. They will lose their confidence, and will feel sadness, loss, loneliness, anxiety, anger, fear, but it is still on how the child handled the situation, responses like this depends on the impact or intensity of the separation affect the child, because other children can still stand out in school(Bubelwa, 2014).Sometimes, other children intentionally fail their grades to gain more attention for their parents.

In a study, they were able to compare the academic performances of the children who lived in a divorced one and the continuously married ones and the result was obviously shows the greater differences between the two, but not all the children’s reaction is not the same when it comes to separation. It depends on the children on how they are going to feel their situation. While some child are feeling the anger, fear, loneliness, grief, depression, and stress, the other child choses to put all their attention in their studies to divert their attention so they will be able to survive their situation(Bubelwa, 2014). From the research found by the government, children from broken families are five times more suffering into a damage of mental troubles compare to those who have a complete parent that lives together because it showed that having two parents can avoid a child slipping into emotional distress and anti-social behavior(Doughty, 2008). The children’s family backgrounds are the most crucial. If the parents of the child were separated there is a high possibility that their home became poor, workless, has bad health, had no one with any educational qualifications, fall into crime, addiction and poverty as adults. The report, funded by the Department of Health and published by the Office for National Statistics, investigated emotional disorders – ranked as those which cause considerable distress and interference with the way in which children perform at school and during play.

Under the study of researcher, 8,000 children aged between 5 and 16 last 2004 found that almost one in ten had disorders. They become aggressive, violent or anti-social behavior(Doughty, 2008). From the report, it said that at this time when the parents of the child separates, the emotional disorder of the child was more than four and a half times to developed compare to those child that have parents that stays together. Three times to exhibit a conduct disorder.

Eleven per cent of those children whose families broke up had emotional disorders, against 3 per cent among those whose families were still together.Nearly a third of children found to have mental disorders in 2004 still suffered from them three years later(Doughty, 2008).The Department of Health said: ‘The Government is committed to helping children and young people experiencing mental health problems.’ But academic Patricia Morgan, author of several studies on family break-up, said: ‘This does not come as a surprise, and things are going to get worse(Doughty, 2008).Short and Long Term Effects of SeparationDivorce has a different effect to a child, either temporarily or permanently. It is based on how does parents divorced and what was the reason behind it. When the reason of separation is dying, it will cause a temporary effect to a child in which the pain will be more lesser than because of fights of the parents, it is more easier to accept the fact that the other parent will not be back. Unlike when the divorce is because of the fights, it will give the child an unusual feeling and that it will make them feel unwanted and unloved.

This kind of separation will give a big damage to the child’s intellectual potentialities(Bubelwa, 2014). Separation may affect the mental, physical, and emotional health; peer relations and the like(Mackay, n.d).

Many studies had proved that separation between parents affects the child or even adults, but they only focused on the short term effect of it to their child or children. Nevertheless, other researches or studies examined the effect of long term effects Long-term consequences of parental divorce, including psychological adjustment, use of mental health services, behaviour and conduct, educational attainment, material quality of life and divorce. While there are some evidences that proves that the effect of separation to the child has been decreasing through the years, there are also an evidence that shows that children stick with the effect and being persistent on the feelings that they built towards their situation. Parental divorce had negative effect to the mental health of their child in which they can bring into their growing up(Mackay, n.d). Another possible effect of it to the child is that it could also happen to their own marriage life. This effect is one of the long- term effects of separation to the child.

This problem may result to another problem to the child such as to engage in early-onset sexual activity, to leave home at an early age, to enter into an intimate partnership at an earlier age and to become parents at an early age, these effects arise in part because youthful marriages involve less socially and emotionally mature individuals, of course they are the product of a divorced family, there will be a possibility that the children can get not enough guidance from their parents(Mackay, n.d).Despite the fact that the majority of children of divorced families are functioning within normal ranges or better on a variety of objective measures of adjustment, divorce can built remaining feelings of sadness, longing, worry and regret. Young adults could still recall distress and painful memories and experiences caused by their parents’ actions and post-divorce guardianship arrangements. Even if many children do not experience mental health disorders, there is no doubt that for most children or young adults it causes pain and sadness in their lives(Mackay, n.d).Separations Effect to the Academic Achievements of the Child A study compared the academic achievements between the child of divorced parent and the child who is living with both parents and it turned out that the child who has more exposed to conflicts of their parents are more likely to have poor academic achievements compared to the child who is not totally exposed to the conflicts of their family. A study examined the relationship between family factors and academic performance of a child which turned out that the child of a divorce parents presents or shows lesser parental supervision, guidance, and monitoring which a child needs to survive his/ her early education and to attain higher academic achievements.

Family support especially the parents’ support to a child is highly needed, and must be given to the child. Not having this support will affect the child’s performance in everything especially in their studies(Bubelwa, 2014). Another research was made about the connection between being in the broken family and the academic achievements of the child. Like other researches, the result was the one who is living with their complete parent had a positive feedback regarding their academic achievement, while the other that lived with only one parent had a negative feedback which make it indifferent to the other researches that had been stated(Olokuntoye ; David, n.

d). Effects of Broken Family to the Development and Behavior of the Child A child’s behavior can be affected by many factors, but the most factors that can affect the child are the family. It is depending on the hardness of the separation of the parents and the level of their broken family, the parent’s treatment for each other, and the relationship between them and their child can affect the behavior and development of their child. But it doesn’t mean that because the parents got separated, the child can’t survive with an incomplete family, but it will give the child a lot of hardships in developing social interactions, and other social skills. The separation of the parents may give a strongest impact to a child depending on their age.

It may cause extreme mental and emotional stress and depression(Youth Voices, 2017). However, sometimes, separation is the best way to save their child from having more emotional problems and break outs, but still depending on their family’s situation. Some children may not be affected towards their development and behavior. It is important to understand how a broken home affects child development/ behavior, but it is also important to understand how children should normally develop/ behave. Although a child could have their own development and behavior, it will be more beautiful if it has their parents’ guidelines and concern. Parent should give their child the right practices that they give to them so that the children would get the right development that they must have(Youth Voices, 2017).

However, the parents should do their obligations and right duties to their child like giving them and to keep their child a company, to support, and instruct them to the right way by the right perception and means; to give their child love and affection, advice, counsel, companionship, and understanding; to give them spiritual and moral guidance, invest them in honesty, self- discipline, and thrift; to equip them with good educational materials, and to observe their actions towards the people in their surroundings; present all the things that is related to the child’s interests; to demand for obedience and respect and other duties that the parents should do(Blabla Writing, 2017). Support and Love in the Family In surviving the family it is important that love and support is present in any situation that the family will have. It is also good for the development of their child. If the child felt the love, security, support, care, respect and belongingness the child will have a normal self- esteem that a normal child should have(Lafortune, 2014).The Families Impact on Early ChildhoodEmotional Development The family encourages emotional development in the first moments in their lives. The bond that forms between the baby and its parents nurtures a range of emotions such as trust, comfort, compassion, empathy and confidence. As the baby grew, same with the emotional attachments from their family, they are learning to form a small circle where the interaction or the small society of the child was created which will also help them to be emotionally strong, which will also help the child to overcome the challenges that they will face(Pachucki, 2017). Social Development Children start to develop the social interaction with their parents in an early age.

They became aware and later on start having communication, and cooperation by both observing parents and siblings as they interact with each other, and by interacting directly with different members of the family(Pachucki, 2017).Physical Development The physical development of a child depends on the parents also. Family members are the role models for them, so what they see with their parents can affect them.

Bring the family together for backyard games or exercise challenges to promote healthy fitness among all family members. Restrict the children in any junk food consumption and encourage children to get involved in preparing healthy family meals to promote good nutrition(Pachucki, 2017). A broken homes or families can cause insecurities to the child. Insecurities that they doesn’t have a family that they can call their own. For the children’s mind that a complete family has a mother, a father, and a child, and not having one of either mother and father will give and insecurities from other child who has a father and mother living together. This insecurity may trigger them especially when they are with their peers who had a complete and happy life. This may also happen in school where family’s presence is mostly needed like the family day and such things.

There are plenty of school activities that involves the parents and seeing scenes like these will even make them feel ashamed of their family situation(Chavez, 2017). The insecurities, self-doubt and lack of confidence in a child can eventually make him uninterested in school. Sometime, those who are out of school youths are products of a broken home.

Sometimes a child’s reaction on his parents’ announcement of a divorce is not visible. They are keeping the pain, shock and anger to themselves. This in turn makes him vulnerable to anger, depression, revenge, alcohol, crimes, drugs and so on.

He makes these as their outlets, and as their diversion of what they feel. Too much depression, alcohol addiction and drug dependency, if left untreated, can make them mentally ill or can turn them into a criminal. They may even attempt to kill themselves if they can no longer handle all the misfortunes and the problems which they think is killing them softly. Although, let’s say, that one parent is still guiding their child, sometimes the traumatic effect of a divorce is just too much for a child to handle that they may even lost interest in life itself.

It is still different to live with your parents than living with one parent only(Chavez, 2017). Children expect normalcy and a consistent family structure. When there is a divorce, the child’s life become confused, and many times children will think they caused the divorce. As mentioned above, this can cause insecurity and confused in a child. This happens when a child lives with one parent and then lives with another parent. This can even be worse if one of the divorced parents has remarried and the child has to live with the parent and a different step-parent. Very confusing, who do they listen to, who do they respect.

Being in the situation of the child will give you a roller coaster ride experience that you will never forget(Chavez, 2017). Also, experiencing divorce on their early years may affect their decisions in getting married in the future, “Social emotional benefits; especially companionship, were the major motivation for young people to marry; infidelity and divorce were the main sources of fear of marriage,”A study stated that the children who lived with their both parent tend to marry in their adult years, but the children who lived with the separated or divorced parent tends to marry in their early adult years because of the lack of guidance that they get from their parents. Living in a single parent is difficult because of the need of love, care, protection, guidance, support, and everything that a child need in his life to have a better foundation of them as a person that a single parent cannot give.

If the family or the parents got separated it will leave a damage to their child, on how the child will going to handle it and how would he going to live with it. Many articles have proved that the separation of the parents do really affect the child’s development in terms of physical, emotional, social, and cognitive developments, also, the effects of it to the child itself, from being a child, to their early adolescence, to adolescence, to young adults, and to adult(Oppapers, 2012).


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